When the stone that needs to be thrown is No

When leading there is that awkward moment when you know someone needs to lead, but you don't necessarily want to be the one to lead.   Its when No needs to be said.

Leadership is all fun and games when you get the credit, the smiles, the slap on the back, or the nice emails.  But leading stinks when you have to be the bad guy.  The person who says not today, not here, not gonna happen.  There can be a policy in place or a standard to point back too, but it still comes back to someone saying no.  Wouldn't it be nice if we all had someone that we paid just to say no? In my mind they would look like a pitbull or look like your grandma.  I can't decide which ... hopefully your grandma doesn't look like a pitbull.  Either way, no one would talk back to them.  But I digress, does anyone like saying no?  What I have learned about saying "n"o is that by saying "no" to something, you are continuing to say "yes" to something you like, appreciate, or find more valuable.  

Personally, I am uncomfortable with this, because I hate to think that someone is thinking that I think I am more important than them.  But then I wonder, does anyone think or care about what I am caring and thinking about?  My narcissism gets in the way of being able to say "no."  So, now I really am the self-involved jerk by debating with myself and thinking that everyone in the world is thinking about what I am thinking about.

I need encouragement to say "no."  I think many leaders need permission to say "no."  There are those uber leaders that can crush people's ideas and not worry about it, but that is not me and probably not you either.  So I try to keep this in mind.  By saying "no" to people and ideas, we keep the integrity of who we are and the mission and values we hold dear.  If we say "yes" to everything, we are essentially saying "no" to excellence and excellence is the one thing I always want to say "yes" to.